Dissertation

Local Social Forces, Household Finance, and Real Estate
by
William Benedict McCartney
Without Ben's permission, I take the liberty of quoting here from the "Acknowledgements" preceding the body of his dissertation. A genius of both heart and mind, my elder son has written:

"I cannot imagine my life without all the love and encouragement I have received from my family. Kit and Ger have provided everything from copyediting to thoughtful discussions to steadfast emotional support. Grim and Gram have been there for me since my littlest days and always seem so sure that I know what I am talking about that my insecurities fade away. Sam -- with his fierce work ethic and ambition -- is an inspiration, a great source of pride, and a sobering reminder that academics have it so good,

"Finally, Cathleen, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your incredible kindness makes every day spent with you a complete joy. Your confidence in me, unconditional warmth, and seemingly boundless patience have made the last three years so much easier. As a completely unfair trade for everything you have done for me, I dedicate this work -- and all the tables in it -- to you."

Cathleen & Ben

Back in the day when Gerry and I completed our dissertations, the "Acknowledgements" page was not offered as an option. My freelance version took the following form (May 1990):

"Writing takes energy -- more energy than you ever think you have. And energy comes from love. It takes a spasm of love to write a poem, and several spasms to write a short story, and hundreds of them to write a novel."

~ Erica Jong, from How to Save Your Own Life

****************

. . . and seventy - ver - million to write a dissertation!"

Ger -

How could I ever have have done it without you?
Thank you for loving me so many spasms high!

XOXO always & very faithfully yours,

Kit

****************

Kit -

I can only do it because of the love you give me.

Ger

Kitti, Ben, Gerry ~ May 12, 2018

Moon After Yule

Moon After Yule, as seen from my front window
Dan Albergotti's introspective list might also be applicable should you need some things to do in the bleak mid-winter, by the light of the Moon After Yule. I'm thinking that the belly of the whale might be a time as well as a place. So, here you go -- some thoughts to occupy your mind when the yuletide festivities are a fading memory, the nights are long, and the moon is full:

Things to Do in the Belly of the Whale
Measure the walls. Count the ribs. Notch the long days.
Look up for blue sky through the spout. Make small fires
with the broken hulls of fishing boats. Practice smoke signals.
Call old friends, and listen for echoes of distant voices.
Organize your calendar. Dream of the beach. Look each way
for the dim glow of light. Work on your reports. Review
each of your life’s ten million choices. Endure moments
of self-loathing. Find the evidence of those before you.
Destroy it. Try to be very quiet, and listen for the sound
of gears and moving water. Listen for the sound of your heart.
Be thankful that you are here, swallowed with all hope,
where you can rest and wait. Be nostalgic. Think of all
the things you did and could have done. Remember
treading water in the center of the still night sea, your toes
pointing again and again down, down into the black depths.

by Dan Albergotti
from The Boatloads, © BOA Editions, Ltd., 2008.

Also called
The Old Moon or The Full Wolf Moon

See also
"Staying Alive" by David Wagoner
"The Journey" by Mary Oliver
as well as parables from Erica Jong and Franz Kafka

Ring Without End

"We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels,
we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds."
~ Anton Chekhov ~


free wallpaper

" . . . rings pass from hand to hand, from age to age;
begged, borrowed, stolen, belonging to no one,
rolling through time into eternity, taking our lives with them."
~ Erica Jong ~

Go the sidebar at right ~> ~>
and scroll down for more
"Magical Thoughts from Erica Jong"
I haven't lost any memorable rings so far in my lifetime, but I have managed to lose a couple of diamonds -- both times in airports -- what's the odds? As far as I know, they are still there somewhere waiting to be found:

1. The first was a small stud, embedded in the carpet at O'Hare, where my little Ben (age 1 1/2 at the time, now almost 23) clutched my earlobe in a moment of excitement. When he let go, the diamond was not in my ear, nor in his hand, nor anywhere on the chair or floor as far as we could see. We shook out my hair and clothing to no avail. I treasured these earrings because they had been my first ever Christmas present from Gerry (another good story!) but suddenly it was time for boarding, and I had to walk away -- like Lot's wife, I looked over my shoulder! I don't think Ben really understood what had transpired, but he knew that it was something we had not expected. For months afterward, he would reach out to pat my ear and say, "More Mummy earring?" Ah, what's a lost diamond compared to that kind of sweetness? Besides, Gerry soon surprised me with a new set -- not yet lost! -- so I still have a pair and a spare.

[Lost AND Found: Diamond Studs Are Forever]

2. The second loss occurred eight years ago, in a ladies room at the Nashville airport where I inadvertently banged my hand against the metal paper towel dispenser and dislodged a tiny diamond from my wedding ring. Aarrgghh! I tried my best, searching a mile a minute and muttering to myself. Although this was well after 9/11, I can tell you that no one seemed to find it odd to see a crazy woman tearing through all the used paper towels and down on all fours, combing every inch of floor space. I figured I might be asked to explain myself when an airport custodian came in to tidy up; but, no, she just went calmly about her business, while I went frantically about mine. One kind stranger did say, "Have you lost something? I will help you find it!" and joined in the search until we heard my flight number being called. Upon both occasions -- in person at O'Hare and via cell phone in Nashville -- my dear husband pointed out to me that if I missed my flight, a new airline ticket was going to cost more than replacing the diamonds (luckily, the replacements were not too costly, the individual stones not too large).


Last Halloween ~ showing off my orange tips
. . . and also my ring!
Jong's lovely prediction for the lost ring "rolling through time into eternity" makes me think of the ancient riddle song that we all know and love:

I Gave My Love A Cherry

(click to hear lovely rendition by Jade Maris)

I gave my love a cherry without a stone
I gave my love a chicken without a bone
I gave my love a ring that had no end
I gave my love a baby with no crying

How can there be a cherry that has no stone?
How can there be a chicken that has no bone?
How can there be a ring that has no end?
How can there be a baby with no crying?

A cherry when it's blooming it has no stone
A chicken when it's pipping, it has no bone
A ring when it's rolling, it has no end
A baby when it's sleeping, has no crying

Yes it's true that "a ring when it's rolling . . . has no end." But, think about it: a ring -- even when it's not rolling -- has no end!

Possible ~ Plausible ~ Improbable

Favorite mug from my friend Diane ~ and magnet from my brother Dave
A few years ago, my brother Dave (scroll down to see birthday post) was complaining to me about "those touchy - feely things floating around called Bucket Lists. Actually, they are not Bucket Lists at all. Just the usual drivel. So, I am challenging you to a real Bucket List. Name five items in the following categories: "Possible," "Plausible," and "Improbable." You can and should take into account your age and physical condition but ignore silly things like money. Good Luck."

I was keen to take the challenge! I arranged my items thematically so that I could work on accomplishing my goals in increments of possibility. I'm not sure if Dave would approve, or if perhaps I veered off into touchy - feely; but I can say that I've been making pretty good progress on all of my "possibles," so time to move on to my "plausibles."

1. So many books . . . so little time . . .
Possible: Read 3 books per month: one fiction, one non-fiction, one misc.
Plausible: Read all the books beside my bed.*
Improbable: Read every book on my "To Read" list.

*The last time I sorted out the ever-increasing stacks in this famous spot where so many books have gone to die (i.e., "beside my bed") I created a whole new category: "To Read In My Next Lifetime." That took care of a few titles, Moby Dick, for instance, and The Education of Henry Adams (just don't tell my American Lit professors).

2. Around the house . . .
Possible: Eliminate clutter and feel more organized and quit acquiring earthly goods.
Plausible: See my entire house clean at the same time (in manner of above mug by Anne Taintor)
Improbable: Learn to really like gardening.

3. Creative endeavor . . .
Possible: Revisit my original goal when I graduated from high school: collage design.
Plausible: Organize all the writing I've saved over the years into some kind of readable, presentable, publishable collection of essays or epistolary novel.
Improbable: Become really good at piano, singing, swimming, diving, ice-skating, ballet & have better spatial, mathematical, left - brain skills; in short, be smarter & more talented.

4. Mental clarity . . .
Possible: Get better at saying, "Oh well," "That's okay," and "He don't' mean nothing by it, Honey," etc.
Plausible: Stop feeling guilty for all the things in my life that haven't exactly gone according to plan.
Improbable: Receive a personal epiphany* from The Goddess that will reveal to me a meaningful plan for the remainder of my life.

*In lieu of seeing a sign soon or hearing a calling, then I guess I'll just have to think something up for myself! Like that Kafka story about the Imperial Message that never comes, so finally "you sit at your window when evening falls and dream it to yourself"; or what Sleeping Beauty has to do if the Prince never comes to wake her up: "you kiss yourself and wake yourself up!"
[Go to column at right and scroll down for
"Magical Thoughts from Erica Jong" -> -> ]

5. Grow old along with me . . .
Possible: Visit all my old friends that I keep in touch with by writing & phone, but only see in person every 10 or 20 years.
Plausible: Live the rest of my life without medical intervention (of course, that could mean a short life).
Improbable: I'll answer this one with a sentence that I'm still puzzling over, from a book that Gerry gave me for Christmas a couple of years ago, Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi: "Every person's deepest lifelong desire is to be significant and to be recognized . . . [to feel appreciated] for what their mission is" (163).

Perhaps more likely to qualify as possible is the wish expressed on the tombstone of American poet Raymond Carver:

Late Fragment
And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
~ Raymond Carver ~

**************
Speaking of improbability,
see the latest post on my book blog:
"And a New One Just Begun"

And for more questionnaires and quizzes, see

Quarantine Quiz Shows

Class of '75

Challenges: Special K & Ten Favs

[Possible~ Plausible ~ Improbable]

"Christmas Quiz"

"You're Out Walking"

"Take This Quiz!"

"Monday: Pop Quiz"

"Talk to Me"

Even Proust liked quizzes! Who knew?
Click to learn more and see Proust's questions & answers!