was recovering from surgery, he wondered aloud,
"What the heck is wrong with people
who refuse to make eye contact?"
I am proud to see that none other than Maya Angelou (above)
agrees with my response to him (below):
Dear Hans --
Keep on striving for that eye contact and don't worry about those who don't acknowledge. A few will and it will make your day -- and theirs. Years ago, when email was first a thing, your dad [my oldest brother, Dave] and I had a correspondence going about this same topic.
He was up in Pittsburgh, KS, at the time, and I was in Philly. Our plan was that he would walk around campus all day civilly nodding to all who crossed his path, and I would do the same in my neighborhood -- which was typical behavior for us anyway, but this time we would keep track of how many would respond with eye contact. The disappointing result was -- very few! Sometimes not a single person in an entire day!
What's wrong with them? Somehow it just seems to pain many people to acknowledge that they are surrounded by fellow travelers on the planet. Something has made them afraid and tight in their hearts. But don't ever stop trying to share that smile! I'm still at it, and soon your energy will return and you'll be back at it too!
XOXO, Aunt Kit
"And it didn't stop me from continuing to nod in open acceptance
and truly enjoy the occasional return. Hang in there Son."
****************
Post Script from Tony ~ 2019
Small Kindnesses
I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”
Danusha Laméris
Thanks to poet Tammy Sandel for these words of joy and wisdom about making contact -- and eye contact --with those we encounter along the path of any given day:
ReplyDeleteHOW TO BE A HERO TODAY
Joy
is a form of Activism.
And Manners matter in the modern world,
Clearing the path between people,
Letting us use
And hear
Our Voices.
Even stilted Thank-You’s
Lift us up above the weeds.
And spoken from your center,
a whisper projects like a shout.
Do hold up your placard!
Or (just) hold somebody’s hand.
(just) because that’s no small thing.
Consider your cause
Your personal energy
Your style
Your soul
We can choose our outfit to match
Tights, helmet, falcon or fairy wings
And Acts of Kindness
Are Civil Rights in a quiet cape.
At our intersection
Please
Wave back to me from the car
Two fingers from the steering wheel,
Up nod at the pumps,
Motorbike salute me low,
Sports-guy-chest-bump high,
Pet my dog
Pat my butt
What?! It’s my Woman’s Right to invite.
I know
The rules can overwhelm,
A Fibonacci spiral
A pas de deux
A jazz riff improvised
Outside the key;
Our demands are
As elegant and complex as a person,
As simple as a poem.
In truth
We all
(just) want to be Seen, Respected,
Adored.
So, Lez go.
Let’s just do it
When we can.
Smile to Me
As I hold the door
For You.
We can see behind the Masks,
Beyond Skin,
The color of Life shining through.
###
tlks Summer 2021
Cindy W. G.
ReplyDelete