The Door Stands Open

Interior, Open Door at Etretat, 1920
by Henri Matisse, 1869 – 1954

"The door stands open in that home,
the special chair for us reserved."

You Know Who You Are: This Is For You My Friend

You went west to where mountains stop,
and did not stop but built a home,
a whole new life that was not new
to you but real as Kansas loam.

Always in your mind was that far
place whence you came and that far place
where you were. Distance you would bridge --
root, trunk, limb -- all the ways

you could say Friend and mean it such
a way no stream could be denied.
The door stands open in that home,
the special chair for us reserved.

Friend, take this small token, if you
will, as tribute from all of us
who have too long remained silent
about your heart and human trust.

by Jim Barnes ~ American Poet ~ b 1933
in The Sawdust War: Poems by Jim Barnes

*******************

Additional Jim Barnes on QK & FN & KL
Additional Henri Matisse on QK & FN

I picked this painting and this poem for today
in cherished memory of my lovely friend Celine,
fellow Kansan and luminous litterateur
~ 55 years of light ~
August 29, 1942 ~ April 24, 1997

Can it be 25 years gone already?

Additional Celine Carrigan on QK & FN & KL


P.S.

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters.”

by Norman Maclean (1902 - 1990)
from A River Runs Through It

Celine & Florine

Portrait of My Sister, Ettie Stettheimer, 1928
by Florine Stettheimer, 1871–1944

Victoria Reis: "Stettheimer’s portrait of her younger sister Ettie places her in a dark, starlit setting in front of a combination burning bush-Christmas tree, perhaps to signify the family’s cultural assimilation as Jews who celebrated Christmas. Like Florine, the subject also appears to be floating in space, lounging on a red fainting couch. An ornament on the tree, a red book inscribed with the name “Ettie,” represents Ettie’s role as the author and intellectual of the family."

Stettheimer's Christmas painting is the perfect accompaniment to this poem -- by my friend ~ Celine -- that I came across when looking through an old Christmas scrapbook from grad school days:

Presents

Presents wrapped in paper --
presents tied with bows!
Outward signs can help us
signal deeper things we know.

Can any gift be greater
than the persons in this place,
each given to the others
for beauty, joy, and grace?

But

will we stop today to stare
at each and every face?
Will we take the time to care,
or just hurry on and race

to open

presents wrapped in paper --
presents tied with bows?

Outward signs can help us
signal gifts we could forget

we know.

Merry Christmas and Blessings

Always ~ Sister Celine Carrigan
December 13, 1983

For more paintings by Florine Stettheimer,
see my current post:

Celine & Florine

@The Fortnightly Kitti Carriker
A literary blog of connection & coincidence;
custom & ceremony

Mary Oliver: Rest in Wonder

In Memoriam ~ Mary Oliver
10 September 1935 ~ 17 January 2019
Award - winning American poet and naturalist

1. The first Mary Oliver poem I ever read,
during a phase of uncertainty:

from The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do . . .

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save. [emphasis added]

On my blog: November 25, 2009, June 7, 2011,
and January 25, 2016

2. Next came this one, a gift from
my introspective friend Celine:

from The Roses

. . . there is no end,
believe me! to the inventions of summer,
to the happiness your body
is willing to bear.

On my blog: July 28, 2009 & July 12, 2010

3. Observing the Autumnal Equinox:

from Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

Every year we have been
witness to it: how the
world descends

into a rich mash, in order that
it may resume.

On my blog: September 23, 2011 & March 10, 2014
& September 22 2025

4. Celebrating the miraculous arrival
and inevitable departure of Spring:

from Peonies

The Peonies
This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready
to break my heart . . .

Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass with its terror beneath?

Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing forever?

On my blog: May 7, 2012 & May 23, 2015

5. Mary Oliver's "one wild and precious life":

from The Summer Day

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything have to die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life? [emphasis added]

On my blog: July 8, 2012 & July 12, 2025

6. Searching for the Quotidian:

from Whelks, Goldfinches, Poppies, Winter,
Hummingbird Pauses at the Trumpet Vine,
October

All my life
I have been restless --
I have felt there is something
more wonderful than gloss --
than wholeness --
than staying at home.

I have not been sure what it is.

*****

every year
the hatchlings wake . . .

and love the world.
Is it necessary to say anymore?
Have you heard them singing in the wind,
above the final fields?
Have you ever been so happy in your life?

*****

of course
loss is the great lesson.

But also I say this: that light
is an invitation
to happiness
and that happiness,
when it's done right,
is a kind of holiness.

*****

in this world I am as rich
as I need to be.

*****

Look! for most of the world
is waiting
or remembering --
most of the world is time
when we're not here,

*****

Look, I want to love this world
as though it's the last chance I'm ever going to get
to be alive
and know it.

On my blog: October 24, 2012

7. Acknowledging our humble place in the Animal Kingdom:

from Her Grave

A dog can never tell you what she knows from the
smells of the world, but you know, watching her,
that you know
almost nothing.

On my blog: November 28, 2012 & November 29, 2012

8. Mary Oliver paid all species of fauna and flora their due:

from The Sunflowers

Don't be afraid
to ask them questions!
. . . the long work
of turning their lives
into a celebration
is not easy.

On my blog: August 21, 2013

9. From among so many treasures,
this brief poem remains my favorite.
Yes, this is the entire poem:

The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

On my blog: March 21, 2015 & March 29, 2015

10. Vocation and avocation:

from Messenger

My work is loving the world.
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird . . .

Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect? Let me
keep my mind on what matters,
which is my work,

which is mostly standing still and learning to be
astonished. [emphasis added]

On my blog: April 28, 2016 & May 3, 2016

11. Not only did Mary Oliver the world,
but it also loved her back:

from The Fist

Instead: such patience!
Such willingness

to let us continue!
To hear,
little by little,
the voices -

only, so far, in
pockets of the world -
suggesting the possibilities
of peace?

On my blog: May 24, 2016

12. Writing of her little puppy,
but just as true for my little sons:

from "Percy (Seven)"

Ah, this is the thing that comes to each of us.
The child grows up.
And, according to our own ideas, is practically asunder.

I understand it.
I struggle to celebrate.
I say, with a stiff upper lip familiar to many:

Just look at that curlyhaired child now,
he’s his own man.

On my blog: June 2, 2016

13. And lastly, a poem for the winter, about snow, about saving
yourself and putting "your own life in proportion." In is entirety:

Logan International

In the city called Wait,
also known as the airport,
you might think about your life --
there is not much else to do.
For one thing,
there is too much luggage,
and you're truly lugging it --
you and, it seems, everyone.

What is it, that you need so badly?
Think about this.

Earlier, in another city,
you're on the tarmac, a lost hour.
You're going to miss your connection, and you know it,
and you do.
You're headed for five hours of nothing.
And how long can you think about your own life?

What I did, to save myself,
was to look for children, the very young ones
who couldn't even know where they were going, or why.
Some of them were fussing, of course.
Many of them were beautifully Hispanic.

The storm was still busy outside, and snow falling
anywhere, any time, is a wonder.
But even more wonderful, and maybe the only thing
to put your own life in proportion,
were the babies, the little ones, hot and tired,
but still
gurgling, chuckling, as they looked --
wherever they were going, or not yet going,
in their weary parents' arms (no!
their lucky parents' arms) --
upon this broken world. [emphasis added]

On my blog: May 28, 2016

PS.
“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
from the poem "Sometimes"
in the collection Red Bird

Rest in Peace Mary Oliver,
Rest in Wonder, Rest in Astonishment!

14. Morning Glory

15. The Ordinary Daily Presentations & Mindful

16. The Peonies Have Their Day

17. Grasshopper ~ Praying Mantis

18. Black River of Loss

Smarter & Fancier

Thanks to my friend Cate for capturing
this screen print to go along with my blog!
She understands my mission and knows what I'm about!

It's true -- you really can get smarter
(and fancier!) from reading my blog posts --
every few days, fortnightly, monthly!

If you don't believe me, how about these testimonials
from some of my highly intelligent readers:
Back in my second year of blogging, my sweet little darling niece
Anna sent this inspiring reponse:

Hi Aunt Kit! I was getting ready to go to sleep, when I stopped by your facebook page and clicked on the link to your blog to check out your newest entry -- and of course ended up reading the past three months worth. I love your style of writing. It's so calming, relaxing, intelligent, and home-y. Sort of like a really great bedtime story. Speaking of which, I really should be heading that way. Thanks for writing!
Love you, xoxo♥
September 8, 2010 at 11:34pm

And from my lovely cousin Maggie:

Kitti Cuz, I got lost in your blog this Sat morning. It is SO amazing, so much to take in! You are so entertaining and wise!!!!
I love you, cuz!
August 13, 2011

More recently, my loyal reader and oft - quoted friend
Burnetta wrote on my behalf:

My friend Kitti has kept a blog going for a long time now. They always touch something deep within me. I hope that you will take time to read this one. I can feel memory creeping up on me at odd times, in the line of a grocery store, driving by a landmark, the smell of an autumn fire. Memories are still a real part of my life and make it richer. As my memory stumbles at times for 'facts', my tactile and sensory memories seem stronger. Memories remind us of who we are at the core.
Downfall or Saving Grace?

Literary commentary means so much,
coming from our creative family friend
Renee:

R: I just wanted to say how much I love your blog especially the poetry. I just shared your late friend Celine's poem "Spring." Truly meaningful writing. I just followed you on the blog list. Please don't ever stop sending these out.

K: Thanks Renee! You just made my day! Cyberspace really is FULL OF DEAR FRIENDS! (Not just a black hole as I sometimes fear.) All is well here.

R: I am happy to know that but I really mean it. You have put me back in touch with poetry and Emily Bronte.

K: I know you do; I never doubted. Thanks for being a true friend, over the years and over the miles.

R: I have realized as I get older, that real friends (people you have shared large segments of your life with) are always friends. No matter how little you see them. I try to only have friends on FB. You know what I mean -- not just FB friends. Emily Bronte, I am coming back to you.❤

R: I appreciate yr discussion of Virginia W. She is a woman who should never pass into oblivion. I enjoy yr blog immensely. Thank you.

And from one of the keenest intellectuals
I've had the joy to meet through blogging,
Brigit always has some encouraging words:

B: You're a cultural force of nature!
K: Thanks Brigit -- just one of the many services I offer!
B: Keep the great content coming!
April 21, 2015

B: For anyone who who enjoys poetry, wisdom, culture and just general loveliness, you can't do better than my friend Kitti Carriker's blog. She's a scholar, teacher, traveler and general student of life.

K: Brigit, thanks so much for your kind words. Your praise was so high that I felt I might have actually been a little lazy this time, so I gave the post some fine tuning to make sure it lived up to your compliments. Thanks for inspiring me to keep at it!

B: Kitti Carriker is a ninja. This blog is really a public service and should be read far and wide.
Bright Blue October ~ Oct 19 2017

B: You always have the best pictures, poems and commentary -- long live Kitti Carriker!
Winter Solstice 2017

B: Your posts shine a clear light in all this darkness. Thank you and keep up the good work.
Moonset

Thanks everybody -- for all the kind words!

Anthony W
Shout out to Kitti Carriker, a great valuer of poetry
January 10, 2018

Barbara S
You have the heart of a poet and the eye of an artist💙
Panera Still Life

Gabrielle S
‎Oh so beautiful! Thank you Kitti! Your blog is wonderful.
This post made my morning.
Every comment and everything about this post is AWESOME!
September 8, 2009

Joni
Kitti honestly without you in my life there would be no poetry.
January 2011 / 2018

Nancy S
You have an incredible way of linking history to your personal life!
I love your links!
Norman Rockwell's Birthday

Tim T
Thanks, Kitti for your unending eloquent endeavor;
it is a reading pleasure I enjoy!
October 26, 2014

******************

Barbara T
This is amazing. I learn so much from you
and marvel at the beauty of the paintings, photographs,
memorabilia and WORDS that you share. Thank you.
May 2018

Charlotte V
I'm somewhat in awe of how you chronicle your life.
I honestly just have a shitty memory for details.
It's occasionally problematic . . .
May 9, 2012 / 2018


P.S.
DAILY or QUOTIDIAN?
or Hey, has anybody seen my Self - Confidence?
Back when I started this blog, a little voice of Anxiety / Imposter Syndrome made fun of my title, reading over my shoulder and sneering: "Quotidian?" As if I were a self-important academic showoff. Sticking up for myself, I said, "Don't laugh at my diction!" Imposter Response: "I will laugh." I'm over that, right? The real question is why such criticisms go straight to the heart of my self - esteem, but they do.

Outwardly, I stood by my word choice, deeming it rather elegant and straightforward -- smarter and fancier, shall we say! Yet, inwardly, there is always the second-guessing. I felt so mortified, like all of a sudden -- oh my gosh do I look pretentious and stupid and pathetic in the eyes of the world and all (if there are any) of my readers? I had to keep assuring myself that it was okay; that I was not an idiot; that "quotidian" is a perfectly good word that has been in both my written and spoken vocabulary for lo these many years.
2025
More on:
The Story Only You Can Tell

Triumvirate

Beata ~ Katie ~ Kitti
Precisely a year ago, as Daylight Saving Time began, I took the opportunity to thank my friend Beata for her consistent inspiration and contributions to my blogs. So it seems only fitting that this year, I pay tribute to our mutual friend Katie who never fails to send me just the right poem, cartoon, or article at just the right time, and to keep us all abreast of local literary and cultural events that we might otherwise overlook.

September Birthday Girls: Beata & Katie

Thanks to Katie Field
for this inspiring collection of connections:

Ease Into the Conversation

In Art As It Is In Heaven

Wintry Synchronicity

Partridge Poems for the Twelve Days

Halloween Favorites

Summer Books: I Did It

Summer Books: The Beach

Döstädning: Long Live the Swedish Death Cleanse!

Evening ~ Timing ~ Floating: Poetry by Leonard Orr

"Sometimes a girl just needs to read a good book!"

****************

Don't Dishearten

Snowcat

Celine & Florine

Cyber Monday

Books and Coffee and Nalewki

Always June

Dark Days

A Good Day to Be a Cat

Mere PhD

Fairy Tale

Waiting for the Full Moon

Godspeed October

What Makes Life So Sweet

Alas, Poor Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern! We Knew Them!

Macabre Matryoshka

January 2017 ~ Surviving the Midwinter Blues

". . . If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. . . . "

~ from "A Brief for the Defense" by Jack Gilbert

Breakup Playlist

Last summer my friend Charlotte asked a fun question
and encouraged everyone to join in with suggestions:

"What songs belong on the Ultimate Breakup Playlist?
Any genre. Angry is more fun, but weepy is acceptable."

Click to see all responses.

Here are mine:

Third Runner Up: Take A Bow ~ Madonna

Second Runner Up: Insensitive ~ Jann Arden

First Runner Up: Without You ~ My Fair Lady

My Winner: Love's Been A Little Bit Hard On Me ~ Juice Newton
"I'll see you around in a thousand years
Love's been a little bit hard on me . . ."

Good one from Gerry: Gordon is a Moron ~ Jilted John

Seasonal favorite from Robb: Hard Candy Christmas ~ Dolly Parton

And because I love the title:
You Broke My Heart in 17 Places ~ Tracy Ullman

One more golden oldie: If You Could Read My Mind ~ Gordon Lightfoot

But hopefully, with any luck . . .
you'll be makin' up, not breakin' up!

Gold candlesticks from the St. Francis De Sales
mega - rummage - sale ~ West Philly, 1993;
heart - shaped ornaments, a gift from my friend Celine,
around the same time.

Previous Playlists: Duets & Forever Young Again

Portal to the Divine

"I want to touch water and wood,
other’s hands--everything alive,
so steeped in summer sunshine
and the glory of rebirth."

~ Sister Celine Carrigan, O.S.B. ~

From the Wilds of News Mexico ~ Photo by Joni Menard
My dear friend Joni (since junior high days) shared this perfect photograph and the following kind and inspiring comment in response to my recent tribute to my dear departed friend Celine (since grad school days):

"So when you posted this, Curt and I were on our way to the wilds of New Mexico. I carried Celine's poem, your thoughts, the story with me as we hiked around this beautiful place. I never knew her, but all of this was so strongly on my heart and in my head. I am so grateful Kit. All the gifts. Miss Bell [our favorite 8th grade English teacher; if only we could find her on facebook!], you, and your drawing me in to poetry as a portal to the Divine. You have lost too many dear dear friends to cancer. I look forward to meeting Celine. I really do. Thank you for this. I hiked like I wanted to live. Really live. Like this is the moment to really live.

"My hiking mantra was "I want to touch water and wood" it was so wonderful. It changed everything. I touched them and they touched me. Again so grateful."

A couple of facebook friends referred to this as
Joni's Sound of Music photo.
I was also thinking "Salutation to the Sun"
or maybe Ralph Waldo Emerson!
Let me also take this opportunity to say Happy Birthday to Joni [and her twin brother Terry] who each and every single day lives out the true meaning of worship and adore -- not to mention adorable! Thanks, dear Joni for locating the beauty in every hour and passing that knowledge on to the rest of us who might miss it otherwise. You are a blessing! Best Friends For Life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To the read the posts referred to by Joni,
including the rest of Celine's poem,
please click on the following posts:

August 29th ~ All Roots and Reasons

September 14th ~ Ever the Best of Friends

Ever the Best and More

A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte (1884 - 86)
Georges Seurat, French Post-Impressionist Painter (1859 – 91)
@ Art Institute of Chicago

Les Poseuses (The Models) (1888)
Seurat's Companion Painting
@ Barnes Foundation, Philadelphia

I never tire of admiring these
two companion paintings side by side!
[Also, this one: An Al Fresco Toilette]

[As well as any number of clever parodies,
such as this one by Matt Wuerker @ Politico]

& The Office

******************************
~ Kitti & Celine ~ Labor Day Weekend 1987 ~
In Chicago to see Sunday in the Park with George

"Ever the best of friends; ain't us, Pip?"


More about Celine & Sunday in the Park With George
Recently Posted @ The Fortnightly Kitti Carriker

September 14th ~ Ever the Best of Friends

August 29th ~ All Roots and Reasons

******************************
More Summer Reading
Recently Posted @Kitti's Book List

September ~ Religion and Politics

August ~ Politics and Religion

July ~ 443 Robinson

June ~ "Sometimes a girl just needs to read a good book!"

As If You Were Dying

"Write as if you were dying.*
At the same time, assume you write for an audience
consisting solely of terminal patients.
That is, after all, the case."

Annie Dillard
American essayist, b. 1945
~~~~~

Marvin Charles Hamilton III, 1955 - 2011

When I knew Marv at Notre Dame, he insisted on wearing shorts
for every occasion, even on the coldest day . . .
even mountain climbing in Alaska, he found a way!
He did, however, make an exception for his Santa Claus Costume;
he also wrote excellent letters at Christmas
and knew how to follow the advice of Annie Dillard,
to write as if you were dying:
from Marv's Christmas Letters:

2009
"There's a number of people that I wish lived just around the corner, and you are on that list.

You have been a constant friend, for many years, and I appreciate that. A lot of 'old acquaintances' have been 'forgot' (mostly my fault, I'm sure), but you have remained steadfast. Thank you.

I hope we meet again someday. There are a number of 'lost boys' in Chicago, Indiana, Michigan, Missouri and Ohio who need looking up. Maybe I can make a run through the heartland and catch up with everyone."

&

2010
"5. Deaths Cheated: My son was medivaced to Anchorage in March; a potentially lethal viral infection; prompt action, by competent doctors, kicked the virus 'right where it hurts.'

6. Friends Taken: None, thank God, and I pray my friend Gary in Afghanistan and my brother in law in Korea both keep their large heads down."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks Marv for these annual missives and for your boundlessly energetic way of being in the world. As my friend Eve (also at Notre Dame during the Marv Years) said, "You expect the lively ones to last the longest and just go on and on!"

But somehow, sadly and ironically, Marv was not able to Cheat Death when it came for him a mere four months after he creatively composed his heartfelt Christmas letter of 2010. For many years now, my people - scape of life on earth has included Marv, up North somewhere meting out justice on the Alaska Supreme Court or maybe keeping his delightful little family afloat on a faraway Pacific Island. How difficult it is to imagine the world any other way.

Friends Taken: One Great Guy.

*Reading Dillard's essay,
I couldn't help thinking of this old favorite:
Two Friends
I have something to tell you.
I'm listening.
I'm dying.
I'm sorry to hear.
I'm growing old.
It's terrible.
It is. I thought you should know.
Of course and I'm sorry. Keep in touch.
I will and you too.
And let me know what's new.
Certainly, though it can't be much.
And stay well.
And you too.
And go slow.
And you too.

David Ignatow
American poet, 1914 - 97

Kitti & Marv / Kitti & Celine ~ 1987
Sister Celine Carrigan, O.S.B., was our mutual friend and fellow student at ND. Among their many other good deeds, she and Marv both served as advocates for inmates on death row. In 1997, when Celine died young of ovarian cancer (like Marv, she was only 55), Marv wrote to me: "So sorry to hear about Celine. She was such a gentle soul, and good person. There is clearly no relation between life span and beauty, tenderness, kindness, bravery, intelligence or wit." Uncanny how these kind words written sixteen years ago on Celine's behalf have now become true of Marv himself.